Saturday, January 14, 2006

Why people fail to commit in a relationship

I recently made a very simple observation that seems to be the basis of failure of people to commit in a relationship. Basically, a person knowingly (or unknowingly) sets a certain level of expectation from their partner. If the partner exceeds these expectations, then the person will be willing to commit. The same holds true for the partner. Now, in real life, people always tend to go out with people who make them feel good, and exceed their expectations. Expectations may be in different forms, like looks, money, certain hobbies, or everything ;). So, when someone is looking for a partner, they will only commit to people who are above their expectations. However, as the other person is above the expectations, the first person might not match the expectations of this person, and fall below his/her expectations and there will not be a commitment. Having a casual relationship is a completely different issue, where the expectations are not properly set. However, as it goes forward, they get more and more clear. This is probably a reason why people with different professional backgrounds get along well with each other... their expectations are completely disjoint from one another.

2 comments:

  1. Good thought. Especially at 1:30 AM in night :)

    Other big problem is that expectations keep on changing - with time and circumstances, be it casual or commited relationship, be it same profession or different. So when looking for a partner, it is important to "size up" the person's flexibility, optimism and maturity more than anything else. It's easier said than done, but then what's life without chances taken? :-)

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  2. કોઇનો પ્રેમ ક્યારેય ઓછો હોતો નથી, આપણી અપેક્ષાઓજ વધારે હોય છે. -- હરિન્દ્ર દવે.

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